Jon Cohrs and Morgan Levy are selling bottles of Alviso's Medicinal All-Salt: hand-harvested medicinal cure-all salt for $52.50 each.

Are you feeling depressed? Sick of paying exorbitant rates for birth control?
Traditionally, medical conditions are treated through expensive appointments and prescription drugs. Alviso's Medicinal All-Salt is a unique low-dosage cocktail of all our most commonly used drugs, brought together in one simple salty remedy, naturally.

The All-Salt process harvests two popular commodities, sea salt and recycled pharmaceuticals from water treatment plants, to produce one fine medicinal product: a cure-all salt for every condition, hand harvested and sun dried for purity.

Inhabitants of San Jose have long harvested sea salt from the San Francisco Bay's ocean waters.